Ethan is screaming. Really screaming!

Dan is laughing.

And I am in the bedroom. The door is shut.. and locked for good measure. I haven’t determined if that is to keep them out or keep me in.

They are doing what they do every day.. pestering the shit out of each other. They can’t do any UFC-fighting, since the Doc has yet to give the official “OK” on that. So instead, they run laps around the house, Nerf guns in hand, fully loaded, ducking behind counters and corners for protection.

Every few seconds, Ethan will let out a shrill scream that should itself bring CPS to our door, but thankfully doesn’t. That is then followed by Dan saying, “Ok– you need to protect your eyes then! Do you want your safety goggles or your sunglasses?” Yes.. I swear he just said that. 

I cringe and everything in me wants to go crashing into the other side of the house and send everyone to bed.

But as my muscles tense in anticipation of bolting over there, I hear giggling from the two of them, which may or may not be followed by a short conversation, citing important details such as who “started it”.

It is a short pause followed by more gunfire, chasing, and general craziness.

I have to catch myself though and let them “do their thing”. Because as much as I want to ..

Hold on.. here’s what I am hearing now:

Ethan: “OK, I’ve got a lot of bullets in here!”

Dan: “You are never gonna fiiiiiiind meeeeeee!”

Ethan: “I want Mooooooooooom!!!”

Dan: Pops out from behind the bedroom door– yes, he invaded my room– Ethan sees him and ….

Ethan: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” in shrill screaming voice. He climbs in the bed next to me and announces, “Mom, Daddy shot me in the eye and it really hurt badly!” complete with sobs.

Dan: “Well, you shot me in the face!”

I have to interject–”Yeah, but you are wearing GLASSES!”

Ethan leaves and returns with a soft baseball bat and plastic golf club, saying to Dan, “Well, we could use these and whack them together”..

They both leave the room and within seconds Ethan is once again screaming..

Back to what I was saying…….

Because as much as I want to have them stop all that, I know that this is just normal run-of-the-mill dad & son interaction. Who am I to rain on their parade of hijinks and silliness? Would I rather Dan came home and not interact with him? Should Ethan remember his Dad as a workaholic, who never had time for him growing up? Of course not. I wanted a man who would not just provide financially for his family, but the kind of dad who would provide so many other very important things that have nothing to do with the greenbacks.  A hands-on, silly, fun, get on all fours and bark like a puppy, roughhouse and wrestle, play drums & air guitar, have make believe wars (with Ethan yielding his “Light Saver”, saying “Victory is MINE!”), spend hours creating things with Legos or Play-Doh– kind of Dad. And that’s exactly what I got. Together, they do things that never cross my mind, such as eating their grilled cheese into the shape of guns, turning straws into drumsticks, something as simple as a pen lid can morph into a racecar, empty paper towel holders become swords, feet jut into each other’s face accompanied with a “smell it”, and imaginary invisible bullets are shot out of all parts of the body. It’s true, they are loud, noisy, full of energy even when I am not, they play rough and really, they just can’t help it. What a difference a chromosome can make! HAH!  Life in our house is never boring or dull or quiet for very long, and I love it!

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go lay down the law, because in their current bout of jousting, my laptop got lightly whacked with a blunt instrument. I hope that Nerf gun is still fully loaded.